I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
