Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
