When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
