i jhust puked up my retainher.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
