I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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