was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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