Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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