What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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