I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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