he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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