if you like me you must not know who I am
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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