hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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