bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
