I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
