Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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