Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize