I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
