you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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