my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
