well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
