So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
