I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
