Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
