Got a toothbrush?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
