Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I want a musical about memes.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
