16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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