brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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