it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize