i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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