the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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