guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She told me I should be a condom model.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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