Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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