You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
