my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You should frame my arrest warrant.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
