I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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