And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize