Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
