Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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