You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.