We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.