I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"