I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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