i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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