Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize