brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dual....:-)
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
