so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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