2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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