Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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