I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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