she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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