he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
