I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we're making bets on your personal life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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