I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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