can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize