he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I didn't notice because vodka
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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