he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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