did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
