It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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