Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
