Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
